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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of little miss fun and other funny jokes |
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
Two men walked into a bar. You would think at least one of them would have ducked.
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Cow Joke
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper!
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School Joke
Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were. Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!
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Romance Joke
The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. 'It is wonderful, ' the husband exclaimed. 'We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?''Yes, you male chauvinist pig, ' his wife replied. 'Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on top!'
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Crazy Joke
Twas the Night After Christmas'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn't argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried. When out in the yard the dog started barkin
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Satire Joke
Why do men snore?When they fall asleep, their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock.
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Job and Office Joke
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINTRun one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say 'Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye. 'To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. THREE-POINTSBabble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask 'Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it. ' - Double points if you do this to a manager. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle. Shout random numbers while someone is counting. FIVE POINTSAt the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you 'really have to go do number two'. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, 'the report's on your desk, mon'. Keep this up for one hour. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, 'Shut up, all of you just shut up!'In a colleague's diary, write in 10 am: 'See how I look in tights'. Carry your laptop over to your colleague and ask 'You wanna trade?'Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: 'Do you hear that?' 'What?' 'Never mind, it's gone now'Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, 'I can't talk about it'Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc. ) during a very important conference call. Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, 'not now' and walk away.
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Vampire Joke
Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin? It wanted to play squash.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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