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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of lisburn fun run and other funny jokes |
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Law Enforcement Joke
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
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Clinton Joke
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh? A: Koresh only burned 85 people.
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Dirty Joke
Q: What did the leper say to the hooker? A: Keep the tip.
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Humor Joke
Sharon: I'm so homesick. Sheila: But this is your home! Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.
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Joke for Kids
Possible titles for Monica Lewinsky's new book1. I Suck At My Job2. What Really Goes Down In The White House3. How I Blew It In Washington4. You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President5. Clear and Present Boner6. Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule7. Going Back for Gore8. Podium Girl9. Secret Services to the President10. Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton11. Deep Inside The Oval Office12. The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions13. She's Chief of MY Staff!14. Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes15. How To Beat Off the Government16. Going Down and Moving Up17. Members of the Presidential Cabinet18. Me and My Big Mouth19. How To Get Ahead in Business
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Car and train Joke
Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: 'What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?' Andy says, 'I would switch the points for one of the trains. ' 'What if the lever broke?' asked the inspector. 'Then I'd dash down out of the signal box, ' said Andy, 'and I'd use the manual lever over there. ' 'What if that had been struck by lightning?' 'Then, ' Andy continues, 'I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box. ' 'What if the phone was engaged?' 'Well in that case, ' persevered Andy, 'I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there. ' 'What if that was vandalised?' 'Oh well then I'd run into the village and get my uncle Silas. ' This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, 'Why would you do that?' Came the answer, 'Because he's never seen a train crash. '
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Movie and TV Joke
Fred: I'd love to be an actress. Harry: Break a leg then! Amy: Whatever for? Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for weeks.
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Stand Up Joke
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a ditch?Phil.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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