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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
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bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of lights 4 fun and other funny jokes |
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Ethnical Joke
Northerners visiting the South Information for Northerners Visiting the Southern StatesIf you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the south, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in life styles:1. If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel-drive pickup truck with a 12-pack of beer and a towchain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. 2. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store. 3. Remember: 'Y'all' is singular, 'All y'all' is plural, and 'All y'alls'' is plural possessive. 4. Get used to hearing 'You ain't from around here, are ya?'5. You may hear a Southerner say 'Oughta!' to a dog or child. This is short for 'Y'all oughta not do that!' and is the equivalent of saying 'No!'6. Don't be worried about not understanding what people are saying; they can't understand you, either. 7. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big ol
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Jerry's dead, Phish sucks, get a job.
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Blonde Joke - 1
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general. . . and all in the name of humor!'The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, 'You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee!'
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Ouch Joke
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. 'Hey Willis!!' the farmer yelled. 'Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. ' 'That's mighty nice of you, ' Willis answered, 'but I don't think Pa would like me to. ' 'Aw, come on, ' the farmer insisted. 'Well okay, ' the boy finally agreed, and added, 'But Pa won't like it. ' After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. 'I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. ' 'Don't be foolish !' the neighbor said with a smile. 'By the way, where is he?' 'Under the wagon. '
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Religious Joke
Who was the best actor in the bible ? Samson, he brought the house down !
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Ethnic Joke - 1
The only good thing to ever come out of Oklahoma:An empty greyhound.
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Spiked Humor
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign in a realtor's office: 'Lots for little. ' Sign in a shoe store: 'Come in and have a fit. ' Sign in a maternity clothes store: 'We are open on labor day. ' Sign in a non-smoking area: 'If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. ' Sign on the door of the maternity ward: 'Push Push Push. ' Sign at entrance of the IRS: 'Watch your step. ' Sign at the exit of the IRS: 'Watch your mouth. ' Sign in a bookstore: 'We treat you write. ' Sign on a front door: 'Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog. '
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Spoof Joke
Q. . . What do you call children who are raised in those naughty houses of ill-repute?A. . . Brothel Sprouts!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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