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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of light jokes and other funny jokes |
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Computer Joke
Customer: I think I've got a bug in my computer. Repairman: Does your computer make a humming noise? Customer: Yes. Repairman: Then it must be a humbug!
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Friendship Joke
On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he couldn't let all thatexpensive champagne go to waste, so he carefully poured it back into theempty bottles. However, when he was finished, he found he had nearly a half-bottle too much. He screamed to his wife, 'Linda-Sue, you NASTY BITCH, you DIDN'T?!?'
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Business Joke
While I was employed by a private corporation and assigned to the space-shuttle program, my job included ordering supples. One of the engineers asked me to get a new dictionary for him. The request form said, 'State reason this item is needed,' so I asked him why he wanted one.
I expected his answer would be 'My old copy is lost' or 'The cover is falling off. ' Instead he replied, 'My edition defines spaceship as an 'imaginary aircraft. '' He got his new dictionary.
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Dumb People Joke
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: 'I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?'
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War Joke
The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from AirForce fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. 'Obviously the Air Force knows there'sno such thing as a 'perfectly good aircraft, '' the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, 'because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in one as the Armypays its men to jump. ''You've got it all wrong, Major, ' an Air Force sergeant replied. 'The Army figures anyone stupid enough to jump out of an airplane voluntarily is gonna be too dumb to bitchabout the salary. '
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History Joke
Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ? He liked to chop and change !
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Father Joke
The teacher spent the entire hour reading to her class about the bison family. When she had finished, she said, “Name some things that are very dangerous to get near to and have horns. ”
Little Johnny spoke up without hesitation, “Automobiles?
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Law Joke
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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