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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of legal humour and other funny jokes |
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Assorted Joke
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. 'These hills are getting steeper as the years go by, ' one complained. 'These fairways seem to be getting longer too, ' said one of the others. 'The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too, ' said the third senior. After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said. . . 'Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the RIGHT SIDE of the grass!'
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, 'I love my BMW, I love my BMW. ' Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. 'My BMW! My BMW!' he sobbed. A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, 'Sir, sir, you're bleeding! And my god, your left arm is gone!'The lawyer, horrified, screamed 'My Rolex! My Rolex!'
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Fun Funny Joke
A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself. Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg. The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said, 'You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!So, how did you break YOUR leg??'
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Mental health Joke
One out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Check three friends. If they're OK, then it's you.
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School Joke for Kids
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his system upset. Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest was another, and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard, who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, 'What the hell was that all about?'Still staring down, the drunk replied, 'I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost!'
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What do Arabs do on saturday night?They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mama so short she poses for trophies! Yo mama so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence! Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb. Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed. Yo mama so short she models for trophys.
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Insect Joke
What did the spider say to the fly ? We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing ?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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