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injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of leaving job jokes and other funny jokes |
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At Work Joke
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can't they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.
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Joke Online
Wouldn't it be great if men were made by Kodak!They would automatically shut off when they weren't being used. You wouldn't have to wait for them to recharge after each shot. They last longer and come with a warranty. You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle. They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it. They come in fashion colors. You can keep them in maximum zoom. They come with replaceable or adjustable parts. The parts that count are portable. They don't mind over-exposure. They respond to the slightest touch. The one you want is available at a KMART near you
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Hunting Joke
Mike and Pat went hunting. Mike saw a large goose fly by. He raised his rifle to shoot. 'Don't waste your time, ' Pat hollered. 'The rifle is not loaded. ' 'I can't wait, ' Mike shouted back. 'The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!'
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Children Joke
The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards. 'No mis' he replied
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Various animal Joke
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station ? Because it's a 'mane-lion' station !
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Spoof Joke
New Words for the 2000sBlamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: 'You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance. ' See also Decruitment. SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in a divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets. Tourists - People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. 'We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists. 'Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. 'Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here. 'Dancing Baloney - Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X that are useless and serve simply to impress clients. 'This page is kinda dull. Maybe a little dancing baloney will help. 'Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon. Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is. 'We were so lost in generica, I actually forgot what city we were in. 'Nyetscape - Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser. PEBCAK - Tech support shorthand for 'Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard. ' (Techies are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've submitted numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on the above is ID10T: 'This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system. ')Square-headed Girlfriend - Another word for a computer. The victim of a square-headed girlfriend is a 'computer widow. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bab ! Bab who ? Bab Boone is a real ape !
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Ant Joke
What do you call an ant who lives with your great uncle ? Your great-ant !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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