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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of laugh n pass and other funny jokes |
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Dead and dying Joke
A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, 'Yes, That's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but now my wife is dead. ' The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to so they could enjoy the game together. . . 'Oh no, ' the guy said, 'they're all at the funeral. '
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Mad Joke
1. How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. 2. How do you kill a pink elephant? Twist his nose until he turns blue and then use the blue elephant gun.
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Priceless Joke
Well, there was this truck driver that had been driving all day and hadn't stopped for lunch or anything and he was getting REAL hungry. He sees this diner and pulls in, walks up to the counter and sits down by this old biker who was staring at a steaming bowl of chili. The waitress comes up and asks the trucker what he'll have and he looks at that chili and says, 'Lady, I am starving to die, here, that chili looks good, I'll have that. 'The waitress goes off and comes back with the trucker's steamy bowl of chili that he promptly gulps down. Not satisfied yet, he looks over at the biker who is still staring at his chili. The trucker tells him, 'hey, I'm still kind of hungry, if you're not gonna eat that, may I?' and the biker slides the bowl of chili toward the trucker. Well, the trucker takes his time with this bowl. He gets about half way down and there's this big greasy dog turd in the bowl. The trucker proceeds to barf everything back into the bowl and the biker says, 'yep, that's as far as I got, too!'
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Cow Joke
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk!
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Bumper Stickers - 7
This was only a test; if this had been a real emergency, you'd be dead.
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Firefighter Joke
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. 'Pull the pin like a hand grenade, ' he explained, 'then depress the trigger to release the foam. ' Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted, 'Like a hand grenade, remember?' In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin -- and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?A: A trip to Israel.
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War Joke
A sailor and a marine are taking a piss at a public restroom. The marine finishes first and washes his hands. The sailor just walks to the exit. So the marine says to him: hey, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after taking a piss. The sailor says: yeah well, in the navy they teach us to not piss on our hands.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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