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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of laugh line wrinkles and other funny jokes |
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Weird Women Joke
A woman walks into a hardware store and says 'I want to buy a hinge. ' The clerk says 'Do you wanna screw for that hinge?' The woman says, 'No, but I'll blow you for the toaster. '
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Elephant Joke
What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather ? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain !
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Religion Joke
What do you give the paedophile who has everything?Another parish
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Computer Joke
Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
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Dead and dying Joke
I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare's dead, silly. No wonder he hasn't replied.
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Weirdest Joke
For months, Mrs. Pitzel had been nagging her husband to go with her to the seance parlor of Madame Freda. 'Milty, she's a real gypsy, and she brings the voices of the dead from the other world. We all talk to them! Last week, I talked with my mother, may she rest in peace. Milty, for twenty dollars you can talk to your zayde (grandfather) who you misses so much!'Milton Pitzel could not resist her appeal. At the very next seance at Madam Freda's Seance Parlor, Milty sat under the colored light at the green table, holding hands with the person on each side. All were humming, 'Oooom, oooom, tonka tooom. 'Madame Freda, her eyes lost in trance, was making passes over a crystal ball. 'My medium. . . Vashtri, ' she called. 'Come in. Who is that with you? Who? Mr. Pitzel? Milton Pitzel's Zayde?'Milty swallowed the lump in his throat and called, 'Grampa? Zayde?''Ah, Milteleh?' a thin voice quavered. 'Yes! Yes!' cried Milty. 'This is your Milty! Grandfather, are you happy in the other world?''Milteleh, I am in bliss. With your bubbie together, we laugh, we sing. We gaze upon the shining face of the Lord!' A dozen more questions did Milty ask of his zayde, and each question did his zayde answer, until 'So now, Milteleh, I have to go. The angels are calling. Just one more question I can answer. Ask. Ask. ''Zayde, ' sighed Milty, 'when did you learn to speak English?'
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Baby Joke
Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food? He wanted something to get his teeth into.
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School Joke
The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, 'Hey wake that student up!' The neighbor yells back, 'You put him to sleep, you wake him up!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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