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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of laugh and learn and other funny jokes |
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Old age Joke
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, 'I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, scumbags !' The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.
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E-mail Joke
How do long distance runners send e-mail? On the sprin-ternet.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
That Scottish couple finally worked out a solution to the eternallove triangle. They ate the sheep.
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Costas.
Costas who?
Costas a fortune to get here on the train.
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American Joke
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.
'Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck. '
'Oh, he didn't kill himself,' Mr. Haroldson replied. 'I hung him up to dry. '
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Dog Joke - 1
What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ? I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !
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Spelling Joke
Can you spell soft and slow with two letters? EZ.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
There were three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest igloo. They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said 'Watch this!' and poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor solid. 'Not bad' said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still. So they went to the second Eskimo's igloo, and he said 'Watch this!' and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor. 'Wow, that's colder than mine!'said the first Eskimo. But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still. So they ended up at the third Eskimo's igloo. He said 'Watch this!' and went into the bedroom, looked under three hugh back thick furs, and retrieved one of several small balls of ice there. He took one of the small balls of ice and put it in a spoon, and held a match under it. When it heated up enough, it went 'FFFArchive of laugh and learn and other funny jokesRRRRTTT'. He won. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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