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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of kurdish funny video and other funny jokes |
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Love and Marriage Joke
A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed.
He asked her where she was going, and she replied, 'I'm going to Las Vegas. '
He questioned her as to why she was going, and she told him 'I just found out that I can make $400. 00 a night doing what I give you for free. '
He pondered that for a while, went into the house, packed his bags and returned to the porch and his wife.
She said, 'And just where do you think you are going?'
He replied, 'I'm going, too. '
'Why?' she asked.
He said, 'I want to see how you are going to live on $800. 00 a year. '
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Funniest Joke
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God. . . 'Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go. ' Bill replied, ' Well, what's the difference between the two?' God said, 'I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, it if will help your decision. ''Fine, but where should I go first?''I'll leave that up to you. ''Okay then, ' said Bill, 'Let's try Hell first. 'So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of BEAUTIFUL women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature perfect. He was very pleased. 'This is great!' he told God. 'If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!''Fine, ' said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. 'Hmmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell, ' he told God. 'Fine, ' retorted God, 'as you desire. ' So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons. 'How's everything going?' he asked Bill. Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, 'This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water????!''Oh, that?. . . That was a DEMO, ' replied God.
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Joke for Kids
The blonde had been married about a year when one day the she came running up to her husband jumping for joy. Not knowing how to react, the husband started jumping up and down along with her. 'Why are we so happy?' he asked. She said, 'Honey, I have some really great news for you!' 'Great' he said, 'tell me what you're so happy about. ' She stopped breathless from all the jumping up and down. 'I'm pregnant!' she gasped. The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for a while. He grabbed her, kissed her, and started telling her how wonderful it was, and that he couldn't be happier. Then she said 'Oh, honey there's more. ' 'What do you mean more?', he asked. 'Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!' Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew. 'It was easy' she said, 'I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!'
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Dumb People Joke
The judge called the case of People vs. Steven Lewon Crook. The bailiff opened the door to the holding cell and called, 'Crook, come forward. ' Five of the prisoners entered the courtroom.
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School Joke for Kids
Have you heard about the new low-fat communion bread?It's called 'I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus'!
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Bumper Stickers - 5
I'm not as dumb as you look.
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Fishing Joke
What fish is best to have in a boat? A Sailfish.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Q: Have you heard about the new Iraqi Air Force exercise program? A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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