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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of killing joke tickets and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Just say no to sex with pro-lifers.
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Business Joke
On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said, 'I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof. ' Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof. 'Now, ' said his father, 'when I say, 'Jump, ' I want you to jump off the roof. ' 'But, Dad, ' said the boy, 'there's a huge drop!' 'Do you want to succeed in business?' 'Yes, Dad. ' 'And you trust me, don't you?' 'Yes, Dad. ' 'So do as I say and jump. ' The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him. That was your first lesson in business, son. Never trust anyone. '
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Bumper Stickers - 7
You get all this and my dads loaded.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Quiet brain! or I'll poke you with another Q-tip.
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Priceless Joke
Kenny Rogers and his entourage are aboard their tour bus on their way to a concert in Denver, when they get a flat tire. The mechanic jumps off the bus to fix the flat, but because they're already behind schedule and in a hurry, he neglects to double check that the lug nuts are properly tightened. Shortly thereafter, as the bus goes around a curve on a twisty mountain highway, the entire wheel comes off. The bus veers off the road, and plunges down the side of the mountain. Everybody on board is killed, except for a young 'roadie' who happened to be lying in his bunk, and was somewhat shielded from the crash by his mattress. The kid is lying in his hospital bed being interviewed by the press, and one reporter asks him if Kenny Rogers had said any last words?'Yes, ' said the young man, 'he did. ' As the bus went over the edge I could hear Mr. Rogers singing. . . . . . 'You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel'. . .
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Spoof Joke
Your Momma sooo ugly, when she go to the beach the tide don't come in!Your Momma so dirty, when she stand next to a building she look like an alley!Your Momma so poor, she go to Mcdonalds to put a shake on layaway!Your Momma so dumb, she called information to ask for the number to 911!Your Momma so fat her belt size says 'equator'.
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Marriage Joke
A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, 'How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?' He got the following reply. 'Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter. My dad came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife. So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson. But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather. Now can you understand how I got put in this place?'After staring blanky with a dizzy look on his face, the psychiatrist replied: 'Move over!'
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Christmas Joke - 1
My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it! Doctor: Try this medicine. . . and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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