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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of killing joke albums and other funny jokes |
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well. That's quite enough out of you !
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Police Joke
A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, 'Can I park here?' 'No, ' says the cop. 'What about all these other cars?' 'They didn't ask!'
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Bumper Stickers - 4
IF THIS STICKER IS GETTING SMALLER, THE LIGHT IS PROBABLY GREEN
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Monster Joke
1st Monster: What is that son of yours doing these days ? 2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh, what's he studying ? 2nd Monster: Nothing, they're studying him!
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Ghost Joke
What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play? 'Don't get your sheets dirty!'
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Village Idiot Joke
Ebonics Crimmus PomeWuz de nite befo Crimmus An' all ower de hood ereybody wuz' sleepin' Dey wuz sleepin' goodWe hunged up our stockings An hoped like de' heck That ol Sanna Clause Be bringin' our checkAll o'de fambily Wuz layin in de beds While Ripple and Thunderbird Dance tru' dey headsI passed out inna' flo Right nex to my Maw When I heard sech a fuss I thunk: 'It mus be de law!!!'I looked out thru de bars What covered my doe 'spectin' de sheriff Wif a warrent fo shoAnd what did I see I said, 'Lawd look at dat!!' Ther' wuz a huge watermellon Pulled by giant warf rats!!Now ober all de years Santa Clause, he be white But looks liken us bros Gets a black Sanna dis niteFaster dan a Po'lees car My home boy he came He whupped on dem warf rats An' called dem by name!On Leroy, on 'Lonzo And on Willie Lee On Saphire, on Chenequa Dey wuz a site to see!!As he landed dat watta' mellon Out der in da skreet I knowed it was fo' sho' Da damndest site I ebber did seeHe didn't go down no chimbley He picked da' lock on my doe An' I sez to myself 'Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!'He had dis big bag Full of prezents I 'xpect Wid Air Jordans and fake gold To wear roun' my neckBut he not leevin no prezents Jus stealing my shit Got my drugs, got my guns Got my crack pipe. . . still lit!Wit my stuff in de bag Out da window he flewed I woudda' tried to cut him But he stoled my 'nife too!!He jumped on dat wadda' mellon An' whipped out a switch He wuz gone in a seccon' Dat sum of a bitch!!Next year I be hopin' Anutha Sanna we git Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!Murry Crimmus
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Telephone Joke
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents!
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Cannibal Joke
First Cannibal: 'Have you seen the dentist?' Second Cannibal: 'Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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