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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of katt williams comedy and other funny jokes |
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Relationships Joke
As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outsidea Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. 'America, ' the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. 'She's not from the States. ' 'Yes I am. ' said the wife. He looked at her and asked. 'Is he your husband?' 'Yes. ' she replied. Turning to the husband, he offered. . . . . 'I'll give you 100 camels for her. ' The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, 'she's not for sale. ' After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, 'I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home. '
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Bible Joke
How do Religious Education teachers mark exams? With spirit levels.
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Silliest Joke
God and Moses were out golfing. They were both doing well. Then they came up to the 5th hole. It was a dogleg to the left, with a lake to the right. Moses got up and hit a long shot with a little hook. Right in the middle of the fairway. Then God got up and pulled out his driver. Then Moses said, 'God, everytime you use you driver you always slice it. ' So God said, 'If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it. ' So he approched the ball. Got ready, then hit a long one. It drifted to the right, SPLISH! Right in the middle of the lake. So Moses said, 'See God, I told you that would happen. I'll get it this time but you'll have to get it next time. ' So Moses went out to the lake, held up his club, and parted the lake. Then he went down, picked up the ball, and came back. After that, everything was going fine. Until the 18th hole, straight away, with a long lake on the right. Moses hit a nice straight shot down the fairway. Then God took out his driver. Moses said, 'God, last time you used your driver you sliced it. You always slice it. ' And God repeated, 'If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it. ' So he got up, and hit the ball. Long hard shot, sliced, PLUNK! Moses said, 'I got the last one. ' So God walked on the water, bent over, picked up the ball. About this time there was a foursome coming up behind them. One if the guys saw what God was doing and asked Moses, 'Who does that guy think he is, Jesus?' Moses replied, 'No. He thinks he's Arnold Palmer. '
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Marriage changes passion. . . suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
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Firefighter Joke
How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.
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Weirdest Joke
Benign. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What you be after you be eight. Artery. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The study of paintings. Bacteria. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Back door to cafeteria. Barium. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What doctors do when patients die. Cesarean Section. . . . . . A neighborhood in Rome. Catscan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Searching for kitty. Cauterize. . . . . . . . . . . . . Made eye contact with her. Colic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A sheep dog. Coma. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A punctuation mark. D & C. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Where Washington is. Dilate. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . To live long. Enema. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Not a friend. Fester. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Quicker than someone else. Fibula. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A small lie. Genital. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Non-Jewish person. G. I. Series. . . . . . . . . . . World Series of military baseball. Hangnail. . . . . . . . . . . . . . What you hang your coat on. Impotent. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Distinguished, well known. Labor Pain. . . . . . . . . . . . Getting hurt at work. Medical Staff. . . . . . . . . A Doctor's cane. Morbid. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A higher offer than I bid. Nitrates. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cheaper than day rates. Node. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Was aware ofOutpatient. . . . . . . . . . . A person who has fainted. Pap Smear. . . . . . . . . . . . A fatherhood test. Pelvis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Second cousin to Elvis. Post Operative. . . . . . . . A letter carrier. Recovery Room. . . . . . . . . Place to do upholstery. Rectum. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Darn near killed him. Secretion. . . . . . . . . . . . . Hiding something. Seizure. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Roman emperor. Tablet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A small table. Terminal Illness. . . . . . Getting sick at the Bus StationTumor. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . More than one. Urine. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Opposite of you're out. Varicose. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Near by/close by. Vein. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Conceited.
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School Joke
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!
A history joke
What was Camelot?
A place where people parked their camels!
A history joke
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?
Must have been a duck family
A duck family?
Didn't you say there was a quack in it!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school
A math joke
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That's not fair!
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Sport Joke
A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. 'Is that so?' the first said. 'Did he do a good job?' 'Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot, ' he said. 'The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That, ' he added, 'was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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