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bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of jongleurs comedy club birmingham and other funny jokes |
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Practical Joke
A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, 'There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. ' 'How did you know that?' his mother asked. 'Daddy picked them up and looked underneath, ' he replied. 'I think it's printed on the bottom!'
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Computer Joke
A technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was 'bad and invalid'. The tech explained that the computer's 'bad' and 'invalid' responses shouldn't be taken personally.
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Old Age Joke
Two police officers saw this old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman. As they drove through the streets they kept asking the woman where she lived, all she would say as she stroked the officers arm is 'Your Passionate' They drove awhile longer and asked again, again the same response as she stroked his arm 'Your Passionate'. The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, Look we have driven around this City for two hours and you still haven't told us where you live. She replied I keep trying to tell you: 'Your Passin It!'
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Romance Joke
When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, 'Life isn't worth living. I think I'm gonna top myself. ''Don't be stupid, Joe, ' said the psychiatrist. 'My wife ran off and left me too, yet I'm happy. ''How?' asked Joe. 'Easy, ' replied the quack. 'I threw myself into my work. I totally submerged myself in my job and soon forgot her. By the way, Joe, what work do you do?''I clean out septic tanks. ' Joe replied.
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Pig Joke
Why couldn't the pig pay his bill? He was a little shoat.
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Humorous Joke
Three friends were stranded on a desert island. After several weeks with no food and no drinking water, they were beginning to lose heart. Suddenly, a bottle floated into the shore and a beautiful genie popped out. She said 'I have three wishes to grant. Each of you gentleman can make one wish come true. ' Friend number one got excited. He said 'I wish I was in Las Vegas with dice in one hand and a drink in the other, surrounded by music, food, and beautiful women. ' Instantly he was gone, his wish granted. Friend number two smiled and said, 'I wish I was back home right now with my wonderful wife and our two small children, at our log cabin in the woods sitting in front of the fire and singing Christmas carols together. ' Just like that, he disappeared. The genie asked the remaining man, 'And what do you wish for?' He answered, 'Gee, I wish I had my buddies back to help me dec ide. . . '
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Top 100 Joke
These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. 'That race was all about competition. ' - David Coleman, ITV 'And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us. ' - Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3 Mark Goodier: What's the name of the company you work for? Listener: Mining and Engineering Services. Mark Goodier: So, what kind of work do they do is it mining and engineering services? - BBC Radio 1 'Marling - unbeaten in her three victories. ' Peter O'Sullivan, BBC2 TV: 'Both drivers are fundamentally wearing white helmets. ' James Hunt, BBC2 TV: 'A church spire nestling among the trees. . . there's probably a church there too. ' - Richie Benaud, BBC2 TV
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Free Joke
This little boy was at school one day and had to use the bathroom really bad. So he raised his hand and told the teacher he had to use the bathroom really bad. She said ok well let me hear your ABC'S first so he started saying them' A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, , Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z and the teacher said that's great but where's the P at he said it's running down my leg!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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