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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of jokes sent to cell phone and other funny jokes |
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Funny Famous Joke
Three friends died and went to heaven. The first friend, Sarah, was the first one to go into the pearly gates and meet 'God'. 'Hello Sarah, it is so nice to see you here' God said to her. 'Please make yourself at home and do whatever you want. Slide down the rainbows, sleep on the clouds, just have fun. BUT DON'T Step on the ducks' God said. 'We love and cherish ducks here'. So, Sarah goes on her merry way and enjoys herself. Until OPPS! She steps on a duck. Suddenly the ugliest, most hideous man pops up and Sarah realized she must spend the rest of her life with him. Next, Olivia goes into the pearly gates and God tells her the same thing. 'Do whatever you want, just DON'T step on the ducks'. So, Olivia goes on her way and OPPS! She steps on a duck. And she, too has to spend the rest of her life with a ugly, hideous man. The last friend, Jenn, goes to meet and God and he tells her the same thing. 'DON'T STEP on the ducks'. Finally, a few weeks lateer, Olivia and Sarah are with their ugly men and they run into Jenn. And Jenn is with the most gorgeous guy that anyone had seen. 'How did you get so lucky and have such a hot guy'? Sarah asked her. And the gorgeous guy looks up and says 'I stepped on a Duck'!
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Gender Joke
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?We don't know - it's never happened.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
where does saddam hussein keep his c. d collection? In Iraq (a rack)
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bera ! Bera who ? Bera necessity !
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Ghost Joke
How did the bootician style the ghost's hair? With a scare dryer!
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Weather Joke
What doesn't get any wetter no matter how much it rains? The ocean
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Business Joke
A young businessman rented a beautiful office and furnished it with antiques. However, no business was coming in. Sitting there, worrying, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wanting to look busy, he picked up the phone and pretended he was negotiating a big deal. He spoke loudly about big figures and huge commitments. Finally, he put down the phone and asked the visitor 'Can I help you?' The man said, 'I've come to install the phone. '
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule. 'Alright, ' the lawyer says looking through his papers. 'You owe me $1000 down and $417. 58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months. 'What! That sounds like a car payment schedule, ' retorted the client. 'Your right. It's mine. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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