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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of jokes russia and other funny jokes |
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Dirty Joke
Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow blower coming.
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Pig Joke
Paddy and Paddy, two Irishmen, went out one day and each bought a pig.
When they got home, Paddy turned to Paddy and said, 'Paddy, me ol' mate, how we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?'
Paddy says 'Well Paddy, I'll cut one a ta' ears off my fookin pig, and ten we can tell 'em apart'
'Ah tat'd be grand' says Paddy.
This worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Paddy stormed into the house.
'Paddy' he said 'Your fookin pig has chewed the ear offa my fookin pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with on one ear each. How we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?'
'Well Paddy' said Paddy 'I'll cut ta other ear off my fookin pig. Ten we'll av two fookin pigs and only one of them will avan ear'
'Ah tat'd be grand' says Paddy.
Again this worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Paddy again stormed into the house.
'Paddy' he said 'Your fookin pig has chewed the other ear offa my fookin pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with no fookin ears!'
'How we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?'
'Ah tis is serious, Paddy' said Paddy 'I'll tell ya what I'll do. I'll cut ta tail offa my fookin pig, ten we'll av two fookin pigs with no fookin ears and only one fookin tail. '
'Ah tat'd be grand' says Paddy.
Another couple of weeks went by, and you guessed it, Paddy stormed into the house once more.
'PADDY!' shouted Paddy 'YOUR FOOKIN PIG HAS CHEWED THE FOOKIN TAIL OFFA MY FOOKIN PIG AND NOW WE GOT TOW FOOKIN PIGS WITH NO FOOKIN EARS AND NO FOOKIN TAILS !! HOW THE FOOK ARE WE EVER GONNA FOOKIN TELL 'EM APART?!'
'Ah fook it!' says Paddy 'How's about you have the black one, and I'll have the white one. '
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Strange Humor
Now I lay me down to sleepI pray this cushy life to keepI pray for toys that look like miceand warm cushions soft and niceFor grocery bags where I can hideJust like a tiger croucched insideI pray for gourmet kitty snacksand someone nice to scratch my backFor window sills all warm and bright for shadows to explore by nightI pray I'll always stay real cooland keep the secret feline ruleTo never tell a human thatThe world is really run by cats.
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Joke Online
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition. 'Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words. 'The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket & slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, 'Paint my house!'
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I admire gay men, they leave more women for me!
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Sport Joke
What tea do footballers drink ? Penaltea !
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Silliest Joke
What did one Lesbian frog say to the other Lesbian frog?You know what. . . we DO taste like chicken!
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Letter Joke
Josh sent a letter to his folks. He told about a ten-mile hike he had taken. His father wrote back saying, 'In my day I thought nothing of walking ten miles. ' Josh wrote back, 'To tell the truth, I didn't think much of it either.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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