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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of jokes for your phone and other funny jokes |
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Funny Famous Joke
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet. DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future. BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men or spending time around children. EASY - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man. EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest. FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing. INDIFFERENCE - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as 'playing hard to get. ' INTERESTING - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking. IRRITATING HABIT - what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together. LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportional to how unattractive your date is. NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does. FRIGID - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex less often than he does, or who requires more foreplay than lifting her nightgown. SOBER - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love. NAG - a man's term for a woman who wants more to her life with him than just intercourse.
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Horse Joke
What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he saw she had no clothes on? It made him shy!
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Yo momma Joke
yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck.
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes? A: None, as usual. . . and they most likely didn't understand them either.
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Spiked Humor
10. 'Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon. com backing into our driveway?' 9. One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is slapping cuffs on you. 8. Apparently, your flame war with DonCorleone@mafia. com is about to turn ugly. 7. When you log on, your computer says 'You've got lawsuits!' 6. You're suddenly getting more Spam than the Hormel outlet store. 5. Sotheby's says the Rembrandt is yours and that you now owe them $'71
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Farming Joke
A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. 'You look hot, my son, ' said the cleric. 'why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand. ''No thanks, ' said the young man. 'My father wouldn't like it. ''Don't be silly, ' the minister said. 'Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water. 'Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, 'Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!''Well, ' replied the young farmer, 'he's under the load of hay. '
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. The song, 'Yankee Doodle' was originally sung by British Soldiers to insult the colonialists ( which was typical of the British in those days). The Continental Army took to singing it to annoy the British (which was typical of the colonialists).
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Gorilla Joke
How does a Gorilla become another animal? When a Mafia don hires a 'big Gorilla' to be his bodyguard and the big Ape goes to the cops and turns into a stool pigeon!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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