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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of jokes every man should know and other funny jokes |
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Funny College Joke
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?Nothing, you already told her to shut up twice.
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Random Joke
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. 'We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife. ' 'Well, tell me!' the man said. The policeman said, 'We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?' Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, 'Give me the bad news first. ' So the policeman said, 'I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay. ' 'Oh my god!, ' said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, 'What's the good news?' 'Well, ' said the policeman, 'When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her. ' 'If that's the good news than what's the great news?!', Mr. Wilkens demanded. The policeman said, 'We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning. '
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Totally Weird Joke
He really loved her but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage, much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, 'Judith?''Yes, this is Judith. ' 'Will you marry me?' 'Of course. Who's speaking?'
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Beauty Joke
Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ? Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.
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Dumb Men Joke
Why do so few men end up in Heaven? They never stop to ask directions.
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Business Joke
An Irishman goes for a job on a building site. The man says, 'Can you brew tea?' The Irishman says, 'Yes. ' 'Good. Can you drive a fork lift?' The Irishman looks at him and asksy, 'Why? How big is the teapot?'
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Drunks Joke
A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other. 'So what's going on here?' he asks. The bikie replies 'My mate here has had too much to drink and I'm trying to make him vomit. ' The cop says 'I think you should be sticking your fingers down his THROAT!' The bikie replies 'That's what I'm going to do next!'
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Silliest Joke
A man walks into a doctors office one day with a frog on his head. He sits down and the doctor says, 'What's the problem?'The frog says, 'Doctor, is there any way you can get this wart off my ass?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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