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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of jokes and notes comedy club and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 5
If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: Where do you find 60 million french jokes?A: In France.
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Aviation Joke
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses. At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. So me passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: 'You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!'
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Celebrities Joke
IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. Girlfriends, take heed!! There is a new drug that is in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to induce their male victims to have sex with them. The shocking news is that the drug is available virtually anywhere! It goes by the street name 'Beer'. All girls have to do is buy a 'Beer' or two for almost any guy and then simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered literally helpless against such tactics.
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Old age Joke
A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments. 'My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup. ' 'Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee. ' 'I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck. ' 'My blood pressure pills make my dizzy. ' 'I guess That's the price we pay for getting old. ' 'Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive. '
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Mouse Joke
What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time ? Cross mouse cards !
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Apple Joke
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !
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American Joke
One day a teacher announced to her 1st grade class that a
Democrat senator was coming in three weeks.
'Is there anything you all want to tell him?'
One little girl raised her hand.
'Yes, Susie?'
'Well, my dog just had puppies and they are ALL Democrates. '
'Wonderful!'
So finally he came and the teacher said 'Susie, what did you
want to tell the senator?'
'Well, my dog had puppies three weeks ago. '
'And what are they?'
'They're ALL Republican!'
'Susie, you told me they were all Democrates. '
'Yes, well, that was three weeks ago. They have their eyes open
now. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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