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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke wedding vows and other funny jokes |
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Sport Joke
Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?All of them, a crossbar can't jump! Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?They prefer cricket matches! What stories are told by basketball players?Tall stories!Who won the race between two balls of string?They we're tied! Why are football players never asked for dinner?Because they're always dribbling! Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?Because he liked sole music! What tea do footballers drink?Penaltea! Where do footballers dance?At a football!
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Brother and sister Joke
Michael: It's hard for my sister to eat. Maureen: Why ? Michael: She can't bear to stop talking.
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Computer Joke
Customer: 'Hi, I'm supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?'
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Law Enforcement Joke
Woman: Officer you must help. I've just lost my wig. Police officer: Certainly, ma'am, we'll comb the area.
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Roach.
Roach who?
Roach out and touch someone you love.
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Sporting Joke
With waning enthusiasm for the sport, a foursome of seniors hit the golf course. 'Seems these hills are getting steeper as the years go by,' moaned the first senior. 'Boy, these fairways really seem to be getting longer too,' complained the second. 'What about these sand traps!' They seem to be much bigger than I remember them,' groaned the third. Having heard enough from his three buddies, the oldest and wisest of the group said, 'Stop complaining. Just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!'
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Fishing Joke
A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. 'Have you had any bites?' asked the second man. 'Yes, lots, ' replied the first one, 'but they were all mosquitoes. '
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Aviation Joke
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, 'We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41. ' So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: 'Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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