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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke valentine present and other funny jokes |
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Miscellaneous Joke
A Chicago man dies and goes to hell. When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says 'sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here. ' The man says, 'No problem. I'm from Chicago. 'So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to '100
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Computer Joke
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
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Bird Joke
What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A pecking order.
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Priceless Joke
An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. . . then they hid, pretending they were not at home. The father's plan was: 'If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard. 'So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the note they had left. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the bible, flicked through it, and took it. Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality . . . then he left for his room, carrying all three items. The father slapped his forehead, and said: 'Darn, it's even worse than I could ever have imagined. . ' 'Our son is going to be a politician!'
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Funniest Joke
There was a blonde whose house was on fire. She called the fire department and asked them to come put it out. When they asked how to get to her house, and she rolled her eyes and said. . . 'Duh, use the big red truck!'
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Bumper Stickers - 5
I've forgotten more than I've ever learned
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Various animal Joke
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep ? A stripey sweater !
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Lawyer Joke
The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom. At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great delight into forcing witnesses to admit that they did not remember every single detail of an automobile accident. While the lawyer knew that no witness has a perfect memory, he had honed a skill in exploiting minor inconsistencies and lapses of memory in order to challenge the credibility of honest witnesses. After a series of scathing cross-examinations, he was looking forward to his examination of yet another witness. 'Did you actually see the accident?' he asked. The witness responded with a polite, 'Yes, sir. ''How far away were you when the accident happened?''I was Thirty-four feet, seven and three quarters inches away from the point of collision. ''Thirty-four feet, seven and three quarter inches?' the lawyer asked, sarcastically, 'Do you expect us to believe that your memory is so good, and your sense of distance is so precise, that months after the accident you can come into court and give that type of detail?'The witness was unphased. 'Sir, I had a hunch that some obnoxious, know-it-all lawyer would ask me the distance, and would try to make it seem like I was lying if I could not give an exact answer. So I got a tape measure, and measured out the exact distance
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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