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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke telephone numbers and other funny jokes |
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Rabbit Joke
How do you make a rabbit stew? Keep it waiting.
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Miscellaneous Joke
A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter, 'waiter, there's a fly in my soup!' The waiter replies, 'That, sir, is entirely possible, you see our cook used to be a tailor. '
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Humorous Joke
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Funny Famous Joke
A lady approaches her priest and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. ' 'What do they say?' the priest inquired. 'They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. 'Want to have some fun?'' 'That's terrible!' the priest exclaimed, 'but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship. ' 'Thank you!' the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?' One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, 'Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!'
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Funny Kids Joke
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
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Blonde Joke - 1
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, 'Awww, look at the dead birdie. ' The blonde stops, looks up, and says, 'Where?'
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Kids School Joke
Why were the flies playing football in saucer?They where playing for the cup!
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Kids Puns
Rejected Hallmark Cards:So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. . . Look at the bright side, she's a really good lay. My tire was thumping. . . I thought it was flat. . . when I looked at the tire. . . I noticed your cat. . . Sorry. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends. . . here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends. You've announced that you're gay, won't that be a laugh, when they find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I had mine I got real snippy. Heard your wife left you. . . How upset you must be. . . But don't fret about it. . . She moved in with me. Your computer is dead. . . it was once so alive Don't you regret installing Windows 95?You totalled your car. . . and can't remember why. . . could it have been. . . that case of Bud Dry?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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