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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke stuff and other funny jokes |
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Dance Joke
Andy: 'Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row. ' Doctor: 'Hold it, Andy. That doesn't sound so terrible. ' Andy: Oh yeah? In the dream, I was the third girl from the end. '
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Government Humor
Why are there no Olympic Team Cuban swimmers?Cause all the Cuban who can swim are here already!
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Joke for Kids
One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. 'Welcome to Heaven, ' said St. Peter. 'Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you. ' 'No problem, just let me in. ' said the woman. 'Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in. ' 'Actually, I think I've made up my mind. . . I prefer to stay in Heaven', said the woman. 'Sorry, we have rules. . . ' And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good- bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. 'Now it's time to spend a day in heaven, ' he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. 'So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity, ' he said. The woman paused for a second and then replied, 'Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell. ' So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and Filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. 'I don't understand, ' stammered the woman, 'yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable. ' The Devil looked at her and smiled. 'Yesterday we were recruiting you today you're staff. '
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Military Joke
Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure, buddy. Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No, SIR!
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Stupid Men
Why do men always have stupid grins on their faces?
They're stupid.
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Dirty Joke
The blonde was at the blood bank and sold a pint of blood. As she was leaving counting her $'25
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Business Joke
Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, 'What is three times seven?' 'Twenty-two, ' Kowalski replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he knew he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, Kowalski went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, 'Well, you were the closest. '
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Simple Joke
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES? A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans. Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV. Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any. Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night! Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde? A: 3 feet tall, and a flat head to rest your beer on. Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way. Q: Why do blondes hate MandMs? A: They're too hard to peel. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find MandM shells all over the kitchen floor. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an MandM factory? A: Proofreading. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the MandM factory? A: For throwing out the W's. Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID? A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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