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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke shop uk and other funny jokes |
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Politics Humor
How big is Bill Clinton's Penis? Not as big as Hillary's
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Joke Online
My wife is so immature, every time I take a bath, she comes in and sinks my little boats!
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At Work Joke
Not that my wife's the jealous type or anything, but one day at work, I had taken this temp who was filling in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an outstanding job on a very difficult project. As luck would have it, there was my wife waiting in the office for my return. The temp, who was truly a ravishing beauty said, 'Oh, Mrs. Moore, I'm so happy to meet you. I'm your husband's new secretary. 'Within a single heart beat my wife quietly intoned, 'OH ? Really ? Were you ???'
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Humor Joke
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said 'I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live, ' and jumped out. The lawyer then said, 'I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live. ' He also grabbed a parachute and jumped. The priest looked at the little boy and said, 'My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace. ' The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, 'Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack. '
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Celebrities Joke
What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch. . .
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Marriage Joke
My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won't you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, JohnP. S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
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Priceless Joke
'The car won't start, ' aid a wife to her husband. 'I think there's water in the carburettor. ' 'How do you know?' said the husband scornfully. 'You don't even know what the carburettor is. ' 'I'm telling you, ' repeated the wife, 'I'm sure there's water in the carburettor. ' 'We'll see, ' mocked the husband. 'Let me check it out. Where's the car?' 'In the swimming pool. '
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Funny Famous Joke
Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said 'Look at that dog with one eye!'The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes, 'Why?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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