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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke shop leeds and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Dummies
Q: Did you hear about the 4 Pollocks who froze to death in adrive-in movie???They went to see 'Closed For the Winter'!
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Cat Joke
Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
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Miscellaneous Joke
A lawyer died. At the same moment, the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven at the same moment. They spend the day in orientation, and as they're getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga and wings, like everyone else, and the lawyer gets much finer apparel, made of gold thread, and Gucci shoes. Then, they get to see where they're going to live?. The Pope gets what everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the lawyer gets an 18 room mansion with servants and a swimming pool. At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard meal, a Manischewitz kosher TV dinner, and the lawyer receives a fine and tasty meal, served on silver platters. By this time, the lawyer is beginning to suspect that an error has been made, so he asks one of the angels in charge, 'Has there been some kind of mistake? This guy was the Pope, and he gets what everyone else gets, and I'm just a lawyer and I'm getting the finest of everything?' The angel replied, 'No mistake, sir. We've had lots of Popes here, but you're the first lawyer we've ever had. '
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Military Joke
The theatrical manager exclaimed: 'Your last role was magnificent, Mr. Brown. You enacted so well that officer wounded on the battlefield. Your suffering looked very much like real. ' 'It was. I've got a large nail in my shoe. ' 'Well, ' said the manager, 'for heaven's sake leave it in until the end of the run of the play. '
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Hair and bald Joke
Customer: Couldn't you see I was going bald? Barber: No, the shine from your head blinded me.
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Clinton Joke
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired him.
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Dirty Joke
A man goes to the doctor and says, 'Doc, you have to help me!' The doctor asks, 'What's your problem?' The guy says, 'Every morning I wake up with my 'morning flagpole'. . . give the wife a quick one, and then go to work. On the way to work, I carpool with the next door neighbor's wife who gives me a blow job during the ride to work. Once I get there, I do some work and then at morning tea time, I go into the photocopy room and crank one out with one of the young office girls. At lunch, I take my secretary out to a hotel and give her a good boning. For afternoon tea, I give the boss's wife a good servicing. Then, I go home and slip the maid a few inches. Then at night, I give the wife another screw. . . . . . . ' 'So. . . ????' asked the doctor. 'What's your problem???' The guy says, 'Well, it hurts when I masturbate!'
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Bumper Stickers - 7
Wouldn't it be nice if there were an Escape key for all of our problems?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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