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5QS |
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke shop derby and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 3
For a small town, this one sure has a lot of assholes!
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Free Adult Joke
Her learning curve is fractal. Her lint trap is full. Her lists are unlinked. Her memory is truly random-access. Her mental function can be graphed with a single dot. Her mere presence causes parity errors, power fails, and head crashes. Her mind is not grounded to a logic supply. Her mind might have spontaneously combusted. Her mind would be unstable even mounted on a tripod. Her modem lights are on but there's no carrier. Her objects are not fully oriented. Her phone doesn't quite reach her desk. Her random access is the same as her sequential access. Her sewing machine's been out of thread for some time now. Her ski lift doesn't go to the top of the hill. Her stack has been corrupted. Her synapses are about that far apart. Her system file has zero bytes. Her tires are a little low. Her wipers don't touch the glass. Her word length is zero bits. Hid behind the door when they passed out brains. High relative humidity. . . He's lost in a fog. His . sig is long, boring, and stupid, but it's the best part of his postings. His access light's on, but the drive isn't spinning / is still spinning up. His accumulator overflows at zero. His actual mileage varies. His antenna/radio doesn't pick up all the channels/stations. His boot block is in a bad sector. His brackets are mismatched.
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Beauty Joke
My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian!said Miss Conceited. ''Then he's right said her little brother. ''Sophia Loren?'' 'No-spaghetti!''
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Easter Joke
What will the Easter Bunny be doing after Easter? One to three for breaking and entering.
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Political Joke
Q: How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb? A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.
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Strange Humor
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?Nobody knows. It has never happened.
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Police Joke
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars all traveling at the same speed; however, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, 'Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?'
'Ever go fishing?' the policeman asked.
'Uhhh, yeah. . . ' the startled man replied.
The officer grinned and added, 'Ever catch ALL the fish?'
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Did you check if your horn works?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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