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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke shop and other funny jokes |
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Stand Up Joke
There was a man who traveled all around the world. Every city he stopped in he would buy something for his mother and send it to her. On one such stop he found a parrot that spoke thirty different languages. He immediately bought it and sent it home to his mother. A few days later he calls his mother. 'Did you like the parrot?' he asked her. 'Oh yes, ' she replied. 'It was delicious. ' 'WHAT!' the man cried. 'You ate it? That parrot wasn't for you to eat! It spoke thirty languages!'The mother paused for a moment and then said, 'So why didn't he say something?'
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Humorous Joke
An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, 'What's your problem, Soldier?''Chronic syphilis, Sir. ''What treatment are you getting?''Five minutes with the wire brush each day. ''What's your ambition?''To get back to the front, Sir. ''Good man, ' said the Major. He went to the next bed, 'What's your problem, Soldier?''Chronic piles, Sir. ''What treatment are you getting?''Five minutes with the wire brush each day. ''What's your ambition?''To get back to the front, Sir. ''Good man, ' barked the Major. He moved to the next bed, 'What's your problem, Soldier?''Chronic gum disease, Sir''What treatment are you getting?''Five minutes with the wire brush each day. ''What's your ambition?''To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir!'
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Funny Joke - 50 best Joke
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, 'I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday. ' Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, 'Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?' He replies, 'You didn't use what I got you last year!'
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Animal World
A Duck walks into a bar. Duck: You got any bread?Barman: No, sorry, we don't have any bread[After a few minutes]Duck: You got any bread?Barman: Look, we don't have any bread[In a little while]Duck: You got any bread?Barman: We don't have any F*****g bread![Some time later]Duck: Got any bread?Barman: If you ask me if I've got any F*****g bread once more I'm gonna nail your F*****g bill to this bar. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Duck: You got any nails?Barman: NO!Duck: You got any bread? Sent by Duncan
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Trailer Trash Barbie . . . complete with double wide trailer home
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Sport Joke
What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded ? Bring on their subs !
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Stupid Blonde Joke
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. 'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?' The blonde counts carefully on her fingers forabout 30 seconds before replying, 'Ehhhh . . 22!' The interviewer tries another straightforward oneto break the ice. 'And can you tell us your height, please?' The young lady stands up and produces a measuringtape from her handbag. She then traps one endunder her foot and extends the tape to the top ofher head. She checks the measurement and announces, 'Five foot two!' This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes forthe real basics. 'And uhh, just to confirm for ourrecords, your name please?' The blonde bobs her head from side to side for abouttwenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, 'Mandy!' The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, sohe asks, 'Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understandyour counting on your fingers to work out your age, andthe measuring tape for your height is obvious, but whatwere you doing when we asked you your name?' 'Ohh that!
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Aviation Joke
A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York. The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and is a lot of fun. He explains 'I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5. 'Again, the engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, 'OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $'5
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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