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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke presents and other funny jokes |
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Weirdest Joke
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, 'Honey be very careful when you drive the ball-don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix. 'The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, 'I told you to watch out for the houses! Alright let's go up there, apologize, and see how much that's going to cost. 'They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, 'Come on in. ' They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side on the foyer. A man on the couch said, 'Are you the people that broke the window?''Uh yeah. Sorry about that, ' the husband replied. 'No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes - I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself. ''OK great!' the husband said. 'I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life. ' No problem - it's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?' the genie said, looking at the wife. 'I want a house in every country of the world, ' she said. 'Consider it done. ' the genie replied. 'And what's your wish genie?', the husband said. 'Well, since I have been trapped in that bottle, I havn't had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife. 'The husband looks at the wife and said, 'Well we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess it would be alright. 'The genie took the wife upstairs, and ravished her for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife and said, 'How old is your husband, anyway?''35. ' she replied. 'And he still believes in genies??? That's amazing!'
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What's a blonde's mating call? I think I'm drunk.
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Idiot and fool Joke
My friend is so stupid that he thinks twice before saying nothing.
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
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Very Silly Joke
Mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in. Child: Mother, where do babies come from?Mom: Well dear. . . a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their room. . . they kiss and hug and have sex. (The daughter looks puzzled. )Mom continues: That means the daddy puts his penis in mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey. Child: Oh I see, but the other night when I came into your and daddy's room, you had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?Mom: Jewelry, dear.
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Stupid Blonde Joke
Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.
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Humor Joke
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. He immediately began paying her court and flattering her. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when, after 30 minutes, he seriously proposed marriage. 'Look, ' she reacted. 'We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other. ' 'You're wrong, ' the young man replied. 'For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account. '
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Cow Joke
What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii? Moo moos
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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