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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke messages and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 7
What would Xena Do?
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Christmas Joke - 2
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ? The letter 'D' !
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Various animal Joke
What kind of whale flies? Pilot whales!
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School Joke for Kids
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. 'You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home. ''Why?' asked somebody from the audience. 'I watched my wife's routine at dinner for years, ' the expert explained. 'She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Honey, why don't you try carrying several things at once?''Did it save time?' the guy in the audience asked. 'Actually, yes, ' replied the expert. 'It used to take her 30 minutes to make dinner. Now I do it in ten. . . '
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Strange Humor
Cinderella REALLY wanted to go to Prince Charming's ball, but as you know the evil stepsisiers and stepmother will not let her. So they leave her all alone on the big night, cleaning the place. 'Oh, how I wish I could go!' Cinderella sighed. No sooner had she said this than her Fairy Godmother appeared, holding a long, beautiful white dress. 'Here, god-child, ' the fairy said, 'try this on. 'So Cinderella puts the thing on, and it fits perfectly, except she notices some red drops on the white fabric. 'Dammit' Cinderella said' of all the lousy nights to get my period!'So the God mother presents her with a magic Tampon to solve the problem, but the tampon has a warning on it: 'Please return to the house by midnight or the tampon will be turned into a pumpkin. 'Cinderella puts it in her and goes to the Ball. Meanwhile, the Fairy Godmother awaits Cinderella's return. 10 o'clock --11 o'clock --12 o'clock--1 o'clockFinally, at around 3 in the morning, a very out of breath Cinderella stumbles in 'My God! What happened to you? What about the tampon? What about the prince?''Forget the prince' Cinderella sighed. ' At around one o'clock I met the most amazing guy. . . Peter Peter something. . . '
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Love and Marriage Joke
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:
'Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out. '
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said:
'Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?'
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, 'Yes,' then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: 'I thought we had a deal. '
The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: 'She made me a better offer. '
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Apple Joke
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
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Rabbit Joke
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes. They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one 'ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them. And the other rabbit says, 'were going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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