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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke marriage certificate and other funny jokes |
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School Joke
It's clear said the teacher, 'That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?' 'Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!'
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Stupid Blonde Joke
How do you break a blonde's nose?Place a dildo under a glass table!
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Christmas Joke - 1
What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?She gave him the cold shoulder!What do snowmen wear on their heads?Ice caps!What's an ig?An eskimo's home without a loo!What do snowmen eat for lunch?Icebergers!Where do snowmen go to dance?Snowballs!How do snowmen travel around ?By iceicle ! What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?A snowball ! How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?You wake up wet ! What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?Frost bite ! How do you call an Eskimo cow ?An Eskimoo !
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Bar Joke - 2
Amazing and true lawyer statements. Lawyers typically arent funny unless by accident. Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide. . . 1) Was that the same nose you broke as a child?2) Now, doctor, isnt it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesnt know anything about it until the next morning?3) Q: What happened then? A: He told me, he says, I have to kill you because you can identify me. Q: Did he kill you?4) Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?5) The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?6) Were you alone or by yourself. 7) How long have you been a French Canadian?8) Do you have any children or anything of that kind?9) Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture. A: Thats me. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?10) Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?11) Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?12) Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? A: Ill be three months on November8. Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8? A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at that time?13) Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable? A: I used to be. Q: How many times have you committed suicide?14) So you were gone until you returned?15) Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there girls?16) You dont know what it was, and you didnt know what it looked like, but can you describe it?17) Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?18) Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet. 19) A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, Your Honor, Id like to strike the next question. 20) Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose Chapel? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p. m. Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that so? A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
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Worlds Best Joke
Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?A. Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob !
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Short Joke
A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend had proposed but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell. 'Marry him anyway dear. ' the Mother said. 'Between the two of us, we'll show him just how wrong he is. '
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Funny Famous Joke
A brunette walks over to her Blonde friends home and finds her crying. 'What happened. . . why are you crying?'The Blonde tells her that her mother has passed away. The neighbor makes her some coffee, comforts her and then leaves. The next day the neighbor goes back over to the house and finds the blonde crying again. Once again, she asks her why she was crying?This time the blonde replies hysterically. . . 'I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!
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Internet Joke
I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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