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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke inspirational posters and other funny jokes |
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Politics Humor
New Chemical Element Discovered The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered byinvestigators at a major U. S. research university. The element, tentativelynamed administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomicnumber of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic massof 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves thecontinuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons. Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can bedetected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes onereaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normallyoccurred in less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at whichtime it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in whichassistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after eachreorganization. Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs naturallyin the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such asgovernment agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually befound in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings. Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level ofconcentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it isallowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how administratiumcan be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are notpromising.
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Naughty Joke
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast. He says, 'Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to forgive me. ' She looks at him a few seconds and says, 'That's all right. If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 204. '
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Ghost Joke
What do you call the ghost who is a child-rearing expert? Dr Spook.
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Dumb Men Joke
Whats the difference between pink and purple? Your grip.
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Kids Puns
Dear Friend, It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon - the veteran Pillsbury Spokesman. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Long time friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
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Monster Joke
Igor: Only this morning Dr Frankenstein completed another amazing operation. He crossed an ostrich with a centipede. Dracula: And what did he get? Igor: We don't know - we haven't managed to catch it yet.
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Funny Kids Joke
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?A: A dog that chases cars - and catches them!Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs?A: You can step in a poodle!Q: What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?A: A petticoat!Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion?A: A terrified postman!Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?A: His bark was much worse than it's bite!Q: What is a dogs favorite flower?A: Anything in your garden!Q: What dog wears contact lenses?A: A cock-eyed spaniel!Q: What's a dog favorite hobby?A: Collecting fleas!Q: What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?A: That hit the spots!Q: What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena?A: I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs!
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School Joke
Q. Why did the jellybean go to school? A. Because he wanted to be a smarty
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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