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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke greeting cards and other funny jokes |
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Silliest Joke
Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.
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Comedy Joke
An extremely old man visits his doctor and tells him, 'I need my sex drive lowered. 'The doctor, incredulous, says, 'What?? You want your sex drive _lowered_??'To which the old man replies, 'It's all in my head; I need it LOWERED!'
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Marriage Joke
A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. When he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, 'You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. 'When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. 'You know what?' 'What, dear?' his wife asked gently. 'I think you bring me bad luck. '
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Kids Fairy Tale Joke
What is harder than a diamond?
Paying for it!
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Funny Men Joke
Element Name: MANSymbol: XYAtomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging. Samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by dousing with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
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Yo momma Joke
yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!
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College Humor
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, 'Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?''Ever go fishing?' the policeman suddenly asked the man. 'Ummm, yeah. . . ' the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, 'Ever catch *all* the fish?'
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Parent Joke
Talbot and his son James were called to Mrs. Cren-shaw's classroom. 'Mr. Talbot, ' said the teacher, 'I asked James 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!' 'Well, teacher, ' said Talbot, 'if my kid said he didn't do it he didn't do it!' Father and son left the school, and on their way home Talbot turned to the boy and asked, 'Tell me, son, did you do it?' '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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