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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke golf balls and other funny jokes |
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Travel and tourist Joke
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, 'Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are. . . very slowly?' The girl leaned over the counter and said, 'Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing. '
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Funny Famous Joke
Things Not To Say To Your Pregnant Wife After Her Ultrasound1) Thirsty? 2) Where did the extra set of arms come from? 3) Why does it look so much like a lizard? 4) So, what are the characteristics of hermaphroditism? 5) Could we do that again? The nurse had me distracted.
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Aviation Joke
Pilot says: 'Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. . . it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern. '
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet.
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Blonde Joke - 1
What do turtles and blondes have in common? If they're on their back, they're screwed!
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Spiked Humor
1. Your potted plants stay alive. 2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up. 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to7. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'. 10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p. m. 17. Dinner and a movie - it's the whole date instead of just the beginning of one. 18. MTV News is no longer your primary source for information. 19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits. 20. A $4. 00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'. 21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. 22. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi, Ho-Ho's. 23. 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again. ' 24. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. 25. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
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Clinton Joke
Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax? A: Because they could spell it.
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Idiot and fool Joke
Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player? His horse drowned . . .
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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