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injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke gift ideas and other funny jokes |
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Marriage Joke
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, 'That will teach you to pinch!'
Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, 'I. . . I. . . didn't pinch that girl. '
'Of course you didn't,' said his wife, consolingly. . . 'I did. '
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Poker and Gambling Joke
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things. I just won the state lottery!'
Martha replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?'
The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!'
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Blonde Joke - 2
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The blonde team rides on the top level. The brunette team down below is having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead. She says, 'What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!' One of the blondes looks up and says, 'Yeah, but you've got a driver!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock! Who's there? Scott. Scott who? Scott nothing to do with you so stop asking.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle
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Funny College Joke
He was a junior bank executive and he had swindled one hundred thousand dollars from his bank - all of which he'd lost at the races. The bank examiners were coming the next day, and when he confessed the whole thing to his wife, she packed her bags and left him. Totally despondent, he walked to a nearby bridge and stood at the edge of it about to jump off and end it all. Suddenly a voice called, 'Young man, don't do that! There is no need to end your life! I'm a witch and I can help you!' 'I doubt it, ' he said sadly, 'I've stolen a hundred thousand dollars from the bank, for which I'll probably be arrested tomorrow, and my wife has left me. ''Young man, witches can do anything, ' she said. 'I'm going to perform a witch miracle. 'She said, 'ALAKAZAM! The hundred thousand dollars has been replaced and there's another hundred thousand in your safe deposit box! ALAKAZAM! Your wife is back home again!'He looked at her in disbelief, 'Is this all true?' he asked. 'Of course, ' she said, 'But to keep it true you must do one thing. ''Anything!' he said, 'Anything!''You must take me to a motel and make passionate love to me. 'He stared at her. She was an ugly old crone- as ugly as they could be, dressed in rags. Nevertheless, he agreed to her terms. He took her to a motel and made love to her all night. In the morning, as he was getting dressed and combing his hair in front of the mirror, she lay on the bed watching silently. Finally, she asked, 'Sonny, how old are you?''I'm thirty-two, ' he said. 'Tell me something, then, ' she said. 'Aren't you a little too old to believe in witches?'
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Cat Joke
Law of Refrigerator Observation If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
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Business Joke
The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don't know. Those who know are no problem. Those who don't know are also in two groups. One is those who don't know and know they don't know. Well, they can learn!But then, there are those who don't know, and don't know they don't know. And they become unit managers!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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