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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke fathers day present and other funny jokes |
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Humor Joke
A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says 'What's this?' She says, 'Oh, my father's ashes are in there. ' He goes, 'Geez. . . oooh. . . . I. . . ' She says, 'Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray. '
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Dead and dying Joke
Question: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? Answer: 'Leave it to Beaver. '
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Salesmen Joke
What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day? Rugs and kisses!
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Old People Joke
An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, 'Seven Points. '
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replied, 'It's fart football. . . I just scored. '
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score. '
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, 'Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7. '
Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score. '
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14. '
Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail.
Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he has, but instead of farting, he poops the bed.
The wife looks and says, 'What the heck was that?'
The old man replied, 'Half-time, Switch sides. '
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Parent Joke
Father: I want to take my girl our of this terrible math class. Teacher: But she's top of the class. Father: That's why I think it must be a terrible class.
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Birthday Joke
Cat: 'What did you get him for his birthday?' Dog: 'Pant . . . pant!' Cat: 'Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!'
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Various animal Joke
What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers!
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Travel and tourist Joke
Mrs Jones: Now, remember, children, travel is very good for you. It broadens the mind. Betty, muttering: If you're anything to go by, That's not all it broadens!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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