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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke event and other funny jokes |
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Dieting Joke
THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER EAT BEFORE BREAKFAST: (LUNCH AND DINNER).
RELISH TODAY. CATCHUP TOMORROW.
HUMOR BUTTON: CAUTION: HUNGRY DIETER, MAY BITE IF PROVOKED.
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Spelling Joke
A group of Texas A&M Aggies and a group of Harvard students had been deadlocked in a spelling bee for an entire week. At the end of the contest the score was tied and the judges had a dilemma. They told the contestants that each group was to quickly come up with a poem using the word 'Timbuktu. ' Well the Aggiess started laughing the minute the word was uttered but Harvard just smiled and prepared their short rhyme. One Harvard student stood up and for his group recited 'Through the desert all night we ride on camels walking two by two, Destination Timbuktu. ' Well the crowd politely applauded - they knew the Aggies couldnt beat that and the Aggies just continued laughing throughout the whole process. One Aggie stopped giggling long enough to stand and read the team's effort. He said, 'Tim and I, a hunting went, we came upon three women in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I buk one and Timbuktu!'
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Clinton Joke
Q: What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America? A: 'Never! I'm not going to let my wife run the country!!'
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Military Joke
DURING a readiness exercise, my friend Jim and I, Air Force security policemen, were guarding entry to a bunker-like structure where aircrafts were kept. When a pilot about to do a preflight check approached without his identification in plain view, Jim asked him for it. 'I don't see why I have to show you my ID, ' the pilot snapped. 'After all, it is my plane. ''Sir, with all due respect, it may be your plane, ' replied Jim, 'but it's sitting in my garage!'
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Various animal Joke
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: 'Mother said there would be knights like this. '
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Naughty Joke
Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for one more year!
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Frog Joke
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry ? A hoppercraft !
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Blonde Joke - 2
A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter. 'I'm here for the paint job, ' she said. 'Alright, ' said the man. 'Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house. 'The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating. After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, 'I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a porsche out back. It's a new BMW.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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