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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke costumes and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Humor
Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight? You're going out? Yes. With whom? With a friend. I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man. I didn't leave him. He left me! You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies. I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids? I never left you to go out with anybody except your father. There are lots of things that you did and I don't. What are you hinting at? Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight. You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out? My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone! So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place? He's not a loser. A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite. I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not? Poor children with such a mother. Such as what? With no stability. No wonder your husband left you. ENOUGH !!! Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too! Now you're worried about the loser? Ah, so you see he's a loser. I spotted him immediately. Goodbye, mother. Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over? I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out! If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?
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Romance Joke
Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.
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Short Stupid Joke
Etiquette and Behavior:EB101: PMS (Preposterous Mood Swings) -Learning To Sleep Over At Mother'sEB102: We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas(Just Wear The Sexy Lingerie I Gave You)EB103: How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is RightEB104: Why It Is Unacceptable To Talk About Feminine Hygiene In Mixed CompanyEB105: If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your MotherEB106: How To Act Younger Than Your MotherEB107: Apologizing For Farting When You're On The Toilet Is Not NecessaryGeneral Electives:GE101: You, The Whining SexGE102: Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every WeekendGE103: Payday And Shopping Are Not SynonymousGE104: Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The MostGE105: Learning To Appreciate Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of MenHome Economics:HE101: You Can Change The Oil TooHE102: How To Properly Fill A Beer MugHE103: How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch FootballHE104: How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His SlopHE105: Get A Life - Learn To Kill Spiders YourselfHE106: How To Close The Garage DoorHE107: How To Close The Top On The ToothpasteHE108: How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking OneHE109: Why Going To The Bathroom Is Not A Group ActivityHE110: Overcoming 'The Imelda Syndrome' (formerly called 'How Many Feet Do You Have, Anyway?')Interpersonal Relationships:IR101: Understanding The Female Causes Of Male DrunkennessIR102: If You Don't Want An Excuse, Don't Demand An ExplanationIR103: Romanticism - The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And ConversationIR104: Why Men Enjoy Grocery Shopping About As Much As Women Enjoy Watching 'The Three Stooges'IR105: Marriage - The Number One Cause Of DivorceLife Skills:LS101: Combatting The Impulse To NagLS102: Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss AroundLS103: Balancing A Checkbook - Even You Can Get It RightLS104: Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial ResponsibilityLS105: Shopping - Doing It In Less Than 16 HoursLS106: How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch PneumoniaLS107: Living Without Power Windows - How To Turn A CrankLS108: How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By HimselfLS109: You Too Can Carry A BackpackLS110: Dress Like A Slut And Put On Something Sexy - Why It Won't Ruin Your BrainLS111: Attainable Goal - Catching A Ball Before It Stops MovingLS112: How To Remain Femininely Enticing And Attractive After MenopauseLS113: How To Parallel ParkSex Education:SE101: Reasons To Give Head To Your ManSE102: How To Stay Awake During Sex And Imagine That It Lasted For Over 10 MinutesSE103: Fall Semester: You Can Use A Bed For More Than Just Sleep Spring Semester: It's Okay To Do It Outside Of The BedroomSE104: How To Say 'Yes' More OftenSE105: How To Say 'No' But Really Mean 'Yes'SE106: Lingerie - The Gift That Keeps On GivingSE107: Sexual Alternatives For 'That Time Of The Month' (formerly called 'Any Old Port In A Storm')SE108: Foreplay (not a required course, for extra credit only)
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Joke Online
A small guy goes into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown. 'The small guy faints. The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, 'What's wrong with you?'The small guy says, 'Excuse me, but what did you say?'The big dude looks down and says, '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown. 'The small guy says, 'Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn around'. '
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Bible Joke
A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, 'I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Vernon. But we must remember that what we see here is the husk only, the shell. . . the nut has gone to heaven. '
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Worlds Best Joke
Q. What do elephants use for tampoons ?A. Sheep.
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Medical Joke
A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated she was. 'I tried to be an actress and failed, ' she complained. 'I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too. 'The shrink thought for a moment and said. . . 'Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?'The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says. . . 'Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!'
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Dog Joke - 2
Why is a toothless dog like a tree?
It has more bark than bite.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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