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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke contact lenses and other funny jokes |
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Dirty Joke
Q: WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX? A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with.
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Business Joke
Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.
Manager: 'Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job'
Murphy: 'And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!'
Manager: 'We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed. '
Murphy: 'And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?'
Manager: 'Simple, the American put down on question #5, 'I don't know. ', You put down 'Neither do I. '
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Women Joke
Why are women such bad drivers?Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference.
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Bar Joke - 2
Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work. Did you hear about the dentist who married a manicurist?They fight tooth and nail!Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa. Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now. Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug? She had her baby in the spring. Have you seen Quasimodo? I have a hunch he's back!How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path. How do snakes end a fight? They hiss and make up. How do you clean ice off tall buildings?With sky scrapers. How do you get a frog off the back window of your car? Use the rear defrogger. How do you revive a drowning rodent? Give it mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.
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Food Joke
They say she has a sharp tongue. Yes, she can slice bread with it.
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Ant Joke
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone ? An independant !
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Dirty Joke
Q: What do you call two blondes in a canoe? A: Fur traders.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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