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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke christmas presents and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Do Vegetarians eat animal crackers?
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Kids Puns
Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more? Doctor: Sell!
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Funny Kids Joke
An idiot went to have an eye test.
'You need glasses. ' said the optician.
'Will they allow me to read?'
'Certainly young man. You will be able to read pefectly with your glasses on. '
'That's great!' Said the idiot. 'I couldn't read before I came in. '
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Dumb Joke
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink. 'The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try'. A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A BLONDE woman timidly spoke up. 'I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle. '
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Men Joke
Men are like pillows. Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.
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Funniest Joke
There is an old Indian Tribe in the Amazon and their chief is getting old and a new, young challenger wants to be chief. So the wise man of the tribe decides that whoever produces the loudest fart in a week will be chief. The first few days pass and neither the chief or his young rival have farted. The wiseman emerges and says, 'Big Chief no Fart. ' The next day a truck load of baked beans arrives for the Chief, but at the end of the day the wiseman says, 'Big Chief no Fart. 'The next day, three truckloads arrives for the Chief, but again the wiseman comes out and says, 'Big Chief no Fart. 'The Chief is becoming frustrated and orders an army of trucks loaded with baked beans. At the end of the day the wiseman comes out and says. . . 'Big Fart, no Chief!'
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Business Joke
My husband's business is rather up-and-down - he makes yo-yos.
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Blonde Joke - 2
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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