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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke christmas gift and other funny jokes |
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Dirty Joke
One day a man was sleeping and the neighbor's little girl entered his house, woke him up and said, 'What is that between your legs?' He replied that is 'my bird. ' He went back to sleep. She came back later and said, 'What's that furry stuff around your bird?' He replied That's 'my nest. ' So he went back to sleep. She came back later. 'What's those two things under it?' He said those are 'the eggs. ' She said, 'Okay, can I play with your bird, and he said 'ok. ' When he woke up later, he noticed that he was in the hospital. He saw the little girl and asked, 'what happened?' She said, 'When I was playing with your bird he spit in my eye so I chopped off his head, burnt down his nest and busted his eggs!'
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Satire Joke
A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, 'I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!'To that the man asks, 'Anything??'And the blonde says, 'Yes, anything!!'With that, the man says, 'Follow me. 'He walks into the next room and tells her, 'Come in and close the door. 'She does. He then says, 'Get on your knees. 'She does. He then says, 'Take down my zipper. 'She does. He then says, 'Go ahead, take it out. 'With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands. The man then says, 'Well, go ahead!'She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, 'Hello. . . Mom?'
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Pig Joke
What did the pig say when it found a fly in its soup? 'Yum Yum. '
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in What about a matchbox!
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Relationships Joke
A lady with a large flowery hat was stopped at the church door by the usher. 'Are you a friend of the bride ?' he asked. 'Certainly not, ' she snapped, 'I'm the groom's mother. '
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Dumb Joke
Computer users are divided into three types: Novice, Intermediate and Expert. Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate Users - People who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it. Expert Users - People who press the keys that break other people's computers
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Whats the difference between a blond and a Mosquito?The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it. Sent by Chris
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Fun Joke
We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. The lowlights:1. '. . . stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application. '2. 'She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time. '3. ' A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece. '4. '. . . asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate. '5. '. . . announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve'6. 'Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm. '7. 'Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions. '8. 'When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office. '9 . 'At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left. '10. '. . . pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him. '11. 'Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much. '12. 'While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold. '13. 'During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview. '14. 'A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: 'Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?'I said, 'I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further. ' He promptly responded, 'I am as long as you'll pay me more. 15. 'His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume. '16. 'Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one. '17. '. . . asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security. '18. 'Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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