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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke birthday present and other funny jokes |
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Father Joke
A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom had been proudly displayed for all to see.
One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room with his
arms outstretched. In his
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Joke for Kids
A patient goes to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist gives him a Rorschach Test; he shows the patient a circle with a dot inside it and asks, 'What do you see?'The patient replies, 'Two people are having sex in the middle of a circular room. 'The psychiatrist shows the patient another picture of a square with a dot inside it and asks, 'What do you see?'Patient answers, 'Two people are having sex in a square room. 'The psychiatrist shows the patient one more picture of a triangle with a dot outside it and asks, 'What do you see now?'Patient replies, 'Doctor, are you some kind of pervert?!?'
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: Why do Southern guys go to family reunions?A: To meet chicks.
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Telephone Joke
How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.
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Bar Joke - 1
A guy walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender for a shot of whiskey.
The bartender asks 'Why?' The guy responds and says 'I got my first blow. '
The bartender says 'In that case I'll give you two shots of whiskey. '
The guy says 'No, I just want one to get the taste out of my mouth. '
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Funniest Joke
A blonde and her husband are laying in bed watching TV, an old western is on. The husband says to his wife, 'I bet you breakfast in bed that the covered wagon hits a rock and the driver falls out dead, ' 'You're on, ' returned his wife. They watch the western and sure enough the wagon hits a rock in the dirt road and the driver falls out of the wagon . . . dead. The wife gets out of bed and returns shortly with a tray of food. After eating the husband says, 'I have to admit that I saw this movie before. ' She in turn confesses, 'I saw the movie before too. But I didn't think he was stupid enough to ride over the same rock twice. . . . '
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Food Joke
What's a doll's favorite food? Barbie-Q!
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Computer Joke
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, 'What gender is a computer?' The teacher wasn't certain which it was,and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because: 1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model. The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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