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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of joke birthday gift and other funny jokes |
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Silliest Joke
Girls = time * money time = money, therefore: Girls = money * money (*) But we know that money is a root of all evil, thus: money = sqrt(evil) Taking into account (*), we have: Girls = sqrt(evil)*sqrt(evil) And finally: Girls = evil Thus, Girls are the absolute evil!
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life? A: Third grade.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock. Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat. 'How did you like that jump, buddy?' said a proud John to a deck hand. 'It was great, ' said the sailor. 'But why didn't you wait? We were just pulling in!'
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Joke of the Day
A Ukraine businessman who bought a pager for each member of his staff as a New Years gift, was so alarmed when all 50 of them went off at the same time that he drove his car into a lamp post, a newspaper said Thursday. The unnamed businessman was returning from the pager shop when the accident happened, the Fakty daily reported. 'With no more than 100 meters to go to the office, the 50 pagers on the back seat suddenly burst out screeching. The businessman's fright was such that he simply let go of the steering wheel and the car ploughed into a lamp post. 'After he had assessed the damage to the car, the businessman turned his attention to the message on the 50 pagers. It read: 'Congratulations on a successful purchase!'
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Clean Humor
Life of a Senior Citizen. . . I'm the life of the party. . . even when it lasts till 8 p. m. I'm very good at opening child-proof caps with a hammer. I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going. I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, & antacid. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you are saying. I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine. I'm so cared for: Long term care, Eye care, Private care, Dental care . . . I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians. I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place. I'm wrinkled, saggy and bumpy and that's just my left leg. I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies. I'm anti-everything now: Anti-fat, Anti-smoke, Anti-noise, Anti-inflammatoryI'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors . . . Absolutely nothing!I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days. I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP. . . I'm wondering . . If you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?I'm supporting all movements now . . . by eating bran, prunes and raisins. I'm a walking storeroom of facts . . . I've just lost the storeroom.
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Medicine Joke
A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, 'I heard you died. ''But you see I'm alive , ' smiled the friend. 'Impossible, ' said the psychiatrist. 'The man who told me is much more reliable than you. '
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Money Joke
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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