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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of it support jokes and other funny jokes |
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Insect Joke
How do we know that insects are so clever ? Because they always know when your eating outside !
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Insect Joke
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
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Bar Joke - 2
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, 'We don't serve your kind in here. '
One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, 'Why not? We're cultured individuals. '
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Ethnic Humor
An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. 'Aaah!' he said. 'We're right over my homeland. ' 'How can you tell?' asked the American. 'I can feel the cold air. ' he replied. A few hours later the African man put his hand through the clouds. 'Aah we're right over my homeland. ' he said. 'How do you know that?' asked the Russian. 'I can feel the heat of the desert. ' Several more hours later the American put his hand through the clouds. 'Aah, we're right over New York. ' The Russian and the African were amazed. 'How do you know all of that?' they exclaimed. The American pulled his hand up. 'My watch is missing. '
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Yo momma Joke
Yo Mama's so stupid, she got locked in a 'Furniture World' and slept on the floor.
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Kids Puns
These are things that people actually said in court, word for word. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: How old is your son-the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? A: After the accident? Q: Before the accident. A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it. Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? A: Yes. Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? A: Yes, sir. Q: What did she say? A: What disco am I at? Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? Q: Did he kill you? Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? Q: How many times have you committed suicide? Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: I went to Europe, Sir. Q: And you took your new wife? Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p. m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? Q: You were not shot in the fracas? A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel. Q: Doctor, before you signed the death certificate, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you signed the certificate? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. But now that you mention it, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
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Salesmen Joke
Salesman: Roll up, roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round here's got room in their houses for a mammoth.
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School Joke
Today in English we learned absolutely nothing about killing mockingbirds.
I went to a tough high school. In biology we used to dissect custodians.
To be a first-grade teacher you have to have skill, dedication, and an immunity to knock-knock jokes.
School is where you always try to do your best-except when your friends are watching.
Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
Back-to-school sales get me all excited. Of course, pretty much any sale gets me all excited.
School is very important. Everyone should get at least a high school education--even if they already know everything.
You know our education system has problems when Hallmark comes out with a new line of 'Easy-to-read' graduation cards.
My kids have everything they need to go back to school—except the right attitude.
The best part of going back to school is seeing all your friends. The worst part is that your teachers won’t let you talk to them.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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