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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of inflatable fun and other funny jokes |
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Children Joke
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, 'I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter. ' Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Janey Sugarbrown. ' The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?' With her mother standing just a few feet away, the little girl replied, 'I thought I was, but Mommy says I'm not. '
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Simple Joke
What can a woman find at both gyms and singles bars?Dumbbells.
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Book title Joke
My life selling houses by Con Allday
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Golf Joke
A fellow comes home after golf one Sunday afternoon, falls asleep on the couch, and doesn't wake up until about 9 PM. His wife asks why he is so tired. 'Well, You remember George, my golfing buddy? He died today, on the fourth green. '
'That's terrible, it must have been awful' she says. 'It sure was,' he says, 'For the next 14 holes it was drive, drag George, chip, drag George, putt, drag George. . . '
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Kids School Joke
How do you know if you have a tough mosquito?You slap him and he slaps you back!
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Election Joke
The first ladies of UK, Russia and France were having a meeting with Lady Hilary Clinton. The subject of discussion
was the penis of their respective spouse. The first lady of UK says, 'It is like a gentle man- it stands up, as soon as I enter the
room' The lady from Russia says, 'It is like an army officer- you do not know where he will attack from- front or
back. . ' The French lady says, 'It is like the screen in the auditorium- once the act is performed, it drops down. . . '
Then Hilary says, 'It's like a rumour. . . it moves from one mouth to another. . . '
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Mom and Dad Joke
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. 'I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive, ' says the beaming boy to his father. 'Nope, ' comes dad's reply, 'I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years. '
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Practical Joke
Top 10 signs Santa doesn't like your kid:10. Kid's letter to North Pole comes back stamped, 'Dream on, Chester!'9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are styrofoam peanuts6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a reindeer head in his bed5. Instead of 'naughty' or 'nice, ' Santa has him on the 'dork' list4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival cruises with Kathie Lee3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, 'Touch my beard and I'll put the hurt on you!'2. Labels on all your kid's toys read 'Straight from Craptown'1. Four words: 'Off my lap, Tubby!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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