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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of i started a joke that started the whole world crying and other funny jokes |
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Funny College Joke
A writer dies and reaches the Golden Gates where God gives him a choice to either go to Heaven or Hell. He finds it difficult to make up his mind so he asks God if he can have a little tour of both places. God agrees and they first go to Hell where the writer sees rows and rows of writers, chained to their desks in an overheated room, being whipped if they stopped writing for a second by merciless editors and publishers. This really frightens the writer who then proceeds to Heaven hoping it'll be better. In Heaven too he sees rows of writers, chained to their desks in an over heated room, being whipped mercilessly. So he turns to God and says, 'But they're both the same!'To which God replies, 'Oh no. Here in Heaven your work gets published!'
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Men Joke
Men are like plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom
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Practical Joke
Top 10 Reasons No One Wants to go into Space with John Glenn again:10. The horror of seeing the effects of G-Forces on wrinkles. 9. Kept using the Hubble to find his glasses. 8. Everytime he sneezed, his teeth flew out. 7. Forgot where he was each morning, kept grabbing for Scott while callinghim 'Annie'. 6. Constantly complaining about being 'Stiff all over' while eyeingChiaki. 5. Couldn't get him to stop doing the 'Viagra' experiment. 4. When warned, 'There's a Meteor Shower ahead', he thought they said, 'Shower cause he'd peed the bed'. 3. Couldn't seem to ever attach his urinal bag properly. 2. There's a real good reason why we call old men 'Old Farts'. 1. The Prunetang worked, but the Depends didn't.
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Sad Joke
You might be a Redneck Jedi if. . . ===========================================* You ever heard the phrase, 'May the force be with y'all. '* Your Jedi robe is camouflage. * You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. * At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. * You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. * You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard. * The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. * Wookiees are offended by your B. O. * You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. * You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling. * Your father has ever said to you, 'Shoot, son come on over to the dark side. . . it'll be a hoot. '* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up. * You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder. * You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts. * You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. * Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. * You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. * You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck. * You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene. * If you hear . . . 'Luke, I am your father. . . and your uncle. . . '
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Elephant Joke
What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ? You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant !
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Doctor Joke
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?Dentist: $100. 00. Patient: $100. 00 for just a few minutes work?Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.
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Family Comedy Joke
OJ Simpson's website address:www dot 'o' dot 'j' dot com backslash backslash backslash escape.
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Drunks Joke
A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut througha graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunkfails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries toclimb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turnedthe dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. Hegives up after a while and decides to spend the night there. A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar anddecides to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He, too, falls into that open grave and tries to climb out butthe mud is too slippery. The first drunk is still sittingthere and watches as the other drunk tries but fails to getout. The first drunk stands up, taps the second drunk on theshoulder and tells him, 'You'll never get out!'. He did.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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