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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of humour mugs and other funny jokes |
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Marriage Joke
During the wedding ceremony, when the minister/preacher/priest comes to the part about, 'If anyone has any reason why these two people should not marry, speak up now or forever hold your peace. . . ' have this four-to-six year old boy running up the aisle yelling, 'Daddy, daddy. ' I understand from a friend who played this joke on a relative that it took almost an hour to get the wedding started again.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
It takes a Viking to raze a village.
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Computer Joke
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Exactly five hundred. 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed. 7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs. 17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs. 21 to flame the spell checkers. 49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its appropriateness to this mail list. 20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames. 32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb. 69 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped. 41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mail list. . 106 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty. 12 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs. 8 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs. 2 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list. 15 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add pointedly, 'Me Too. ' 6 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy. 9 to quote the 'Me Too's' and happily add, 'Me Three!' 3 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ. 1 to propose new alt. change. lite. bulb newsgroup. 24 to say this is just what alt. physic. cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here. 53 votes for alt. lite. bulb.
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Naughty Joke
Bob calls in to his job:'Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work. 'The boss says:'You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that. '2 hours later Bob calls:'Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house. '
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Vampire Joke
What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A bite in shining armor.
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Dentist Joke
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, 'Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?' 'Ah sure do!' replied Cloyd. 'Everee single day!' 'What do you brush with?' asked the dentist, 'Preparation H, ' said the redneck.
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Blind Joke
Q: How did a blind man drive his car? A: One hand on the wheel; the other on the road.
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Love and Marriage Joke
A young couple from the country honeymooned at a really fancy ocean-side resort. because they knew it would be expensive, they had planned to limit their stay to just the weekend, but were just unable to leave, enjoying themselves and each other so much, and extended their stay another day. Upon checking out, the desk clerk said, 'That'll be an additional $150 apiece. ' 'Good God man !!!' cried the groom, totally shocked, 'That's two thousand two-hundred and fifty dollars !!! Are you crazy ???'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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