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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of humorous birthday jokes and other funny jokes |
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Political Joke
Q: What's a conservative? A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.
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Birthday Joke
I forgot my brother's birthday last month. What did he say? Rick: Nothing, yet.
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Computing Joke
Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX. Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program?Abbott: Yes, that's correct. Costello: No, what is it?Abbott: Yes. Costello: So, which is the one?Abbott: No. 'which' is used to find the program. Costello: Stop this. Who are you?Abbott: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to get information about 'yoo'. Costello: All I want to know is what finds the revision code?Abbott: Use 'what'. Costello: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true?Abbott: No. 'true' gives you 0. Costello: Which one?Abbott: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'Costello: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?Abbott: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what program' to get the revision code. Costello: I want to find the revision code. Abbott: You can't 'find revisioncode
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Joke for Kids
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. H. L. Mencken Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties. George Clooney Today, the L. A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material. Dave Letterman Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. P. J. ORourke Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. Robert Louis Stevenson Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. Ronald Reagan
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Military Joke
Two dogfaces were digging a foxhole. 'What made you join the Army?' asked one. 'Well, I read one of the posters that said: Join the Army and see the world! And I been doin' it - a shovelful at a time. '
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Idiot and fool Joke
I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than most. The clerk said, 'It's made in Germany'. I said, 'That's too bad, I can't use it then'. The clerk said, 'What's the matter? You don't like German pens?' I said, 'No. I just never learned to write German. '
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Travel and tourist Joke
A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had died in the act of making love. 'How awful !' exclaimed the wife. 'Si, but what a great way to spend eternity. ' added the husband.
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Bumper Stickers - 3
How about never? is never good for you?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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