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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of humor birthday cards and other funny jokes |
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Miscellaneous Joke
A guy was in a bar, and asked for some milk. So in turn a pregnant topless dancer got on the bar and squeezed the milk out of her tits. He looked at this and said to himself, 'I would hate to see how they give out bloody Mary?s. '
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, doctor, can I have a bottle of aspirin and a pot of glue? Why? Because I've been at my computer all day and I've got a splitting headache!
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Dumb Men Joke
Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?Because women don't get blowjobs while they're driving.
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Cat Joke
What do cat actors say on stage ? Tabby or not tabby !
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Ethnical Joke
A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle Of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop. The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing. The tribesman began to speak. . . 'woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, Four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m. p. h. ' 'That's amazing' exclaimed the father. 'You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground'? 'No', said the old tribesman. 'They just ran over me five minutes ago'!
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Naughty Joke
An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said, 'But you just got a new pair last month!''Yes sir, b. . b. . but I got them b. . broken in an accident, ' stammered the private. 'Accident, what kind of an accident?' The Captain looked in his book of Accident definitions and glossaries, 'Road-march accident, Firing Range accident, PT accident, Drill accident?''No, no nothing of those. . . ' said the private. 'Well then, what is it?''I'd rather not tell you sir. . . ''Well, no satisfactory explanations, no new glasses, ' said the medical officer, ready to stand up, 'I've to see my patients now. ' 'No, no sir wait, I broke them when I was kissing my girl, ' blurted the private. 'Don't be daft man, how could you break your glasses kissing a girl?''You see, she crossed her legs. . . . . '
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Gorilla Joke
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, 'Who is the king of the jungle?'and the deer replied, 'Oh, you are, Master. ' The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, 'Who is the king of the jungle?' and the zebra replied, 'Oh, you are, Master. ' The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. 'Who is the king of the jungle?' he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, 'Okay, okay, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
U tal-king to me?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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