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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of humberston fun run and other funny jokes |
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Simple Joke
A teacher asked her students to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Mary said, 'My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating. ' The teacher said, 'That was good, Mary, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate. '' Sally raised her hand and said, 'My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated. ' The teacher said, 'Good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate. '' Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate, ' so she called on him. Johnny said loudly, 'My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons. ' The teacher said, 'That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word 'fascinate' in your sentence. ' Little Johnny continued, 'But her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight!'
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History Joke
Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter? Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a dollar.
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Women Joke
Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!
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Joke of the Day
A young minister had just got out of the seminary, got his first church, and was preaching his first sermon. In the seminary, they had taught him that if he forgot something, just back up and repeat what he had said, and maybe it would come back to him. He started out with a quote, 'Behold, I cometh. . . . . ' but he couldn't remember the rest of it. So he trys to regain his composure, backs up an starts again. . . 'Behold I cometh. . . ' but he still couldn't remember. So he rears back and shouts again, 'Behold I cometh! . . . ' but this time he trips over the pulpit and falls right into the lap of a little old lady sitting the front row!He was embarassed and started apologizing, but before he could finish the woman muttered. . . 'It isn't your fault sonny - you told me you were coming three times. . . I should have moved!'
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Strange Humor
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Betsy ! Betsy who ? Betsy of all, it's a cadillac !
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Relationships Joke
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, 'I've got a big problem doctor' Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell. ' 'MY dear, ' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural. I don't see what problem is?' 'The problem is, ' she complained, 'It wakes me up. '
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Apple Joke
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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