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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of howlers comedy club and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 3
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out 'green side up!'In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled 'green side up!'The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled 'green side up!'The lady then asked him, 'Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?''I'm sorry, ' came the reply. 'But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
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Snake Joke
What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ? A bouncing baby boa !
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Clinton Joke
Q: Why doesn't Bill like old houses? A: He's afraid of the draft.
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Funny School Kids Joke
Why are hands never longer than eleven inches?
Because if they were they would be a foot.
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Instrument Joke
Q: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured?A: One is far more painful to your ears. Q: What's the name of a good English horn player?A: I'll tell you when I meet one. Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb?A: One, but he gyrates so much, he'll fall off the ladder. Q: Why is wetting your pants like playing an English Horn?A: Both give you a warm feeling but no one notices.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
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Situation Joke
The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and wasaproached by his assistant. 'Anything interesting happen over-night', asked the mortitian. 'Yes', replied the assistant, 'The most gorgeous 18 year-oldblond came in last night. Dead of course''What was the cause of death', enquired the mortition. 'I'm not sure', replied the assistant. 'But she's got a Prawnstuck up her cunt!''Are you sure?', said the Mortitian. 'Yes, come and have a look for yourself' , said the assistantopening the body bag. The mortitian closely examined the beautifuly trimmed snatch. 'That's not a prawn you stupid wanker', he responded, 'That'sher clitoris''Are you sure?', said the assisitant, ''Cuz it certainly tasted like a prawn'.
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Stupid Blonde Joke
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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